Tag Archive: my life

Couple of months have passed. and here I am. living my life. with you beside me. it was funny from the first day we met. never thought i could fall for anyone else. but you knocked me at hello. so let’s make this journey goes happily..

Good to Feel Good

Look carefully to the title. Is it really me who wrote this?

I myself barely realized that most of my posts are all about sadness, disappointment and anger. The readers, especially those who don’t get to know me personally, could get wrong impression about me because of my ‘sorrow’ blog. But believe me, the inspiration comes smoother when you’re being sad, isn’t it?

But today, I quite find myself more peaceful. Bad things do occur. But I love you, my life. And it’s good to feel good like this 🙂  

I’ll See You There!

Why Things Happen?

It’s life. We live for it. The question might terrorize us in every single event in our life. 

Any situations could be dramatical as ever, drowning you to the lowest level, but you’re still be able to breathe in it.

The thing is. Either you learn from it, or understand it as the way of God telling you of how to be  a better person afterwards.

It could be the most difficult task in the world. For pretending that you don’t give a damn about a thing/a person/a problem or anything, but in fact you do care about it. And that’s exactly how I felt when I was sitting next to you. I put my mask to cover what’s inside, and switch on my Ms. Fake system, so you won’t have any idea about the deepest feeling I have for you. *sorry if the reader wanna puke at this moment :p*

Then why it seems so damn difficult?

1. Because I do have a feeling for you. The purest statement- for all this time. While at the same time, I must act like the opposite one.

2. The way of you look at me. I can feel it, it’s different.

3. I still haven’t got the answer. And the worst part, I can’t bear any of rejection.

But let’s keep it this way.

Sometimes you just need to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve, right? 

So bravo, Ms. Fake!

*Dibuat dalam keadaan sangat sadar, pasrah, antara sedih tapi harus tegar*

Having fun with friends always brings you great happiness.

We went to the Zoo and the Mall *such a big gap huh?*

But we had soooo much fun indeed 😉

I know I’ll never be good enough for you, but it doesn’t mean you have to underestimate me anytime you want. I’m trying to be the best for you, prove you that I can be what you want. But it seems I’ll never reach to that point. 

As a matter of fact, I am afraid of being with you because you make me feel like I am the worst.

And it’s not the concept of love that I would want/have. Thanks anyway for make me realize, and for bring out the worst in me.

I’ll find somebody new that can accept me the way I am. Love you, but not the way you treat me. Ciao!

In a term called “friend”, could you act like one please?

Akhir-akhir ini saya merasa sedang amat bosan. Ntah mungkin karena rutinitas yang terus membelenggu. Halah.. But that’s the truth.. Capek rasanya mengulangi hal-hal yang hampir sama setiap harinya. Ngantor, pulang ke rumah, bbm-an sampai tiba waktu makan malam, baca buku, lalu tidur. Besok paginya, seperti mengulang kembali.. *seka keringat*

Makanya, 2 minggu kemarin saya agak melakukan hal-hal yang menyimpang. *dalam arti yang positif loh ya*

1. Mangga Dua Trip

Ok. Mungkin berbelanja bisa dikatakan bukan hal yang menyimpang, karena itu termasuk rutinitas saya sehari-hari yang membuat kantong sakit. Tapi ke Mangga Dua all by myself? It’s quite an experience! Jadi tau rute dari rumah menuju kesana, dan berbelanja dengan puas karena berhasil nawar dengan harga yang pantas. Berjalan-jalan 7 jam bener-bener ga berasa *dasar cewek :P*

2. Bersepeda di Ragunan Minggu Pagi

MENYENANGKAN! Percaya tidak? Kalau saya terakhir naik sepeda waktu jaman SMP. hahaha, ternyata masih inget langkah2nya. *Yaeyalah..*. Dan itu pertama kalinya juga datang ke Ragunan (yang ternyata sangat2 luas yaa..). Walaupun mostly disana saya cuma bersepeda, lihat2 berbagai jenis burung dan melihat tingkah laku pengunjung yang kebanyakan happy family, tapi rasanya jadi nagih untuk bisa bersepeda lagi kapan-kapan.  

3. Hang Out with Old Buddies

Biasanya saya paling males kalo mau main tapi suasana mood ga kondusif, ntah itu hujan atau macet. Tapi kemarin saya benar-benar mengalahkan mood saya itu dengan keukeuh pergi untuk ketemu teman-teman lama di Kemang. It was fun! Although I was not in my best shape at that time (belum keramas, super kurang tidur) tapi demi meruntuhkan segala kebosanan yang ada, I did it anyway!

Jadi ga sabar untuk menuliskan nomor 4 untuk hal-hal yang bisa mengurangi kebosanan saya…. Wait and see! 🙂

“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, well you just might find. You’ll get what you need..” 

This song from Rolling Stones has inspired me a lot.

Yesterday, I was thinking about every bits of my life and suddenly felt there’s something missing in my life. The loneliness feeling once again crawls all over me.

I do have a great family, friends, good career, but I miss HIM or I miss being WE. If this feeling sticks to me for longer time, I am afraid that I’d forget what it was like. To have those butterflies around your stomach, oh I miss it!   

I do believe that God plans some beautiful things for me at the right time. But why if it comes to this issue, I feel so damn lost 😦

Please Don’t Mind Me

It’s me who knows exactly about my heart, isn’t it?

Then why do people bother about it? As if they know what’s inside.

I need noone to judge me. For who I am and what I feel.

So please just stop complaining! I am free as a bird……….

*Random thought di pagi hari*